How Do I Say 'I Love You'
by Madarao The Authoress
Summary: Havoc broke Edward's heart, which destroys the young teen. But Ed had already fallen- and hard- for Roy. Can he trust his superior? And, more importantly, himself? RoyEd  possibly a lemon later
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so... This story is dedicated to my lovely Amber (bellaXishXdaXbomb) in honor of our one month anniversary- thought it's closer to two months now... ^^' I didn't tell her about it, so I hope she's surprised! =D I love you, sweetheart!**

**Yes, another lovely story from meeeeee! =D I did tell you that I'm now on summer break, and you'll probably be getting a lot of stories and such from me now, right? Well, if I didn't... I just did. xD Anyways, on to the story and such.**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned Fullmetal Alchemist. And I never will, unless something crazy happens. Do you honestly think I'd be poor and have no money to buy FMA stuff with if I did own it? T_T**

**Warnings: Foul language, sad Ed. I think that's it...**

**Enjoy! Especially you, Amber!  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The moment Roy walked into his office, a dull 'good morning' balancing on the tip of his tongue, he could feel the tension in the air, so thick that it was actually palpable. Havoc was the only one who didn't bother to return the greeting. The cigarette hanging out of his mouth was actually lit. That was when he knew something had gone wrong. But, for fear of making things worse, he sat down at his desk and glanced back at the window. There were dark clouds gathering in the sky, which did nothing to help with the mood in the office.<p>

"Sir." The dark-haired man glanced up at Riza, one eyebrow raised expectantly. "Edward's here. I thought you'd want to be prepared for his... rather loud entrance." she warned him, just as she always did. This, along with the fact that he'd gotten used to his door suddenly banging open, meant he was never startled by it.

But the door didn't slam against the wall as it usually did. It creaked open slowly, just enough for the blond to shuffle in, silent as the day Roy had first met him, and then quietly close the door again. Everyone stared as he dragged his feet all the way to Roy's desk- except Jean, who looked like he was about to break his pen in half. Papers were shoved under Roy's nose, and he reached up and took them after a short pause. Ed didn't look at anything but the floor the whole time.

"Do you need anything else?" the younger's voice betrayed no emotion. It was a bit weird. "Or can I go already?"

"You just got here."

"So?"

"I think we should have a talk, Edward." Roy saw the blond flinch and shift his weight from his right to his left foot. "It's not a suggestion."

"Fine." Edward mumbled, sighing softly. "I'll just... uh... Over there..." He sat down on the leather couch- not the usual loud flopping he did- and sat as straight as a board, looking terribly uncomfortable. Everyone but Havoc cast occasional glances at him. "Would you stop doing that?" Ed finally hissed, glaring at each of them- not the blond smoker- in turn.

"I-uh- Edward... What's wrong? You don't seem as... Well, you don't seem like yourself." Fuery ventured, frowning as he adjusted his glasses. The blond's head snapped up, golden eyes bloodshot. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, left hand curling into a fist. Then he jolted up, feet under him and head down again.

"I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be back." he bit out, feet pounding on the hard floor as he fled out of the office. It left everyone staring after him, shocked silent. Havoc glared down at his paperwork, grip tightening on the pen until it really did snap in half. Then everyone's attention went to him. Especially Roy's. And then the dark-haired man stood up, much to everyone's surprise.

"You did something to him. Didn't you?" he growled, eyes narrowed. Havoc didn't look up, nor did he answer. Pissed beyond words, Roy stomped out after his subordinate. There was barely a sign of the blond, except for the swish of a braid and a red coat turning the corner. Sighing, he hurried off in that direction. He was curious about the whole thing, but he was more worried about the blond than anything. Ever since Al's soul had been returned to his body, Edward had seemed so happy, and his shoulders had always looked so broad. Now they were slumped, and he just looked tired and sad. Like he wasn't getting enough to eat and his body needed more sleep.

"Fullmetal! Hold on a second! Stop!" The younger alchemist faltered for just a moment, but it was enough for him to grab hold of the boy's wrist. He could feel the chill of the steel automail even through the other's bright red coat.

"What do you want?" Edward snapped, tired golden eyes lifting up to him.

"Well- You seem out of sorts today, Fullmetal. And so does Havoc." Roy paused when the other flinched at the mention of Havoc's name. "What's going on with you two? You... Well, you both seemed really happy not long ago."

"Do we have to talk about this?" Ed mumbled, looking away again. The dark-haired man frowned, caught off-guard by the blond's unwillingness to talk and that he wouldn't look at anyone. The general leaned down until he was looking into the other's golden eyes- he was still pretty short- and made him hold the gaze.

"Yes." Because he knew that if he didn't _make_ Edward talk, then he _wouldn't _talk. "I just want to know what's eating at you, Ed, and I want to help you." He saw the blond bite his bottom lip- it was beautifully fuller than the top, he noticed- and attempt to look away.

"Fine." The younger uncomfortably shoved his hands deeper in his pockets. "I'll tell you. But I hope you know that I hate you for it." It was as far from the truth as he could possibly get. There was no way he could hate Roy. Not even a little bit. It was quite the opposite, actually. Even when he and Havoc had been together, he'd started falling for the handsome, dark-haired general. But he'd still loved Havoc. So, so much. But now... Well, now the blond smoker had broken his heart, and he wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"Okay, just come back to the offi-"

"No!" Roy gave him a questioning look, though it was quickly replaced by a shocked expression as the blond used the hold on his steel wrist to his advantage and dragged the older man outside to the courtyard behind the large building. "I can't sit in the same room with him. I just... I just can't." Edward flopped down under a tree, legs stretched out and head tilted back against the trunk. The fresh air was nice. He'd been locked up in his room- refusing to leave for any reason- since the morning before. Had _somebody _not called him- and told him in the nicest way possible that if he didn't bring in the report for his last mission within the hour, he'd be getting a very angry house call from a very angry sniper- earlier, he would still be moping around in his bed, covers thrown over his head and wearing nothing but a well-worn pair of pants. As it were, he'd rather not be shot. It would make things even worse, because Riza wouldn't aim for anything vital, meaning he'd be in pain. Inside and out.

The dark-haired general paused for just a moment before he, too, sat down in the grass, to the other's right. For a few minutes, he didn't say anything, giving the blond time to think and steady himself. "So... What happened? With you and Jean?" Ed flinched again, something that didn't escape Roy's notice, and shifted uncomfortably.

"He broke up with me yesterday. Over the phone, no less. The bastard. I got so pissed, I didn't even hear why he was breaking up with me. I... I think it was about 'someone else.'" The younger man took a deep breath, closing his eyes. His hand clenched into a fist on his thigh, hiding the trembling. "I said some things I'm not proud of, then hung up on him. That's when it really sunk in. I broke down; haven't left the bed since Riza told me to get my ass down here or she'd bring me here herself. I thought I'd be okay... around him. You have no idea how wrong I was." The back of his throat was burning something awful, and there was a thick lump that he just couldn't seem to get rid of. His eyes, though closed, stung with threatening tears. After a second, he lifted his head and opened them slowly. The rays of sunlight glinted off of them, as if they were glistening pools of liquid gold.

_And damn it all if they couldn't combat the sun itself. _Roy thought, staring back into those eyes, caught in their spell.

"What did I do wrong, Roy?" The blond let out a shuddering breath, unclenched hand going up to the base of his throat. Right at the hollow. "I-I didn't meant t-to. H-he... I-I loved h-him. I r-really d-did." Without warning, the tears started flowing down his cheeks in thin, salty rivulets, curving inwards to drip off of his chin. And fuck it all if Roy was just going to sit there and watch Edward suffer alone; he'd done that enough already. Just as unexpectedly as the other man's crying had been, he had embraced Ed, dragging him close and tightening his hold. "What did I do? Oh, god, Roy. I didn't mean it! Wh-why can't he s-see that?" He buried his face in the front of the older alchemist's military jacket, fingers of his flesh hand fisting in the thick material.

"Oh, Ed, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why? Why did he do this to me?" His automail hand went up to his chest, clutching the leather over his aching heart. Roy didn't say anything. He didn't know _why _Havoc had broken the young man's heart. They'd been happy, he knew. In love- at least, one of them had been. Had it all been a game to the older soldier? Toy with Edward's emotions to see how much in love he could make him, then rip his heart out of his chest? "He said he never loved me. Wh-why? H-he told m-me he d-did! So wh-why did he t-take it all back?"

"I don't know. But if he let you go... then he's a fucking idiot, too blind to see that he's got someone great."

"No." Ed mumbled, tears streaming down his face as he continued to repeat the word under his breath. "Th-that's not t-true." He shuddered against Roy's chest, choking back a sob. "I-I must've... must've not b-been good e-enough. Dammit, I-I kn-knew I w-wasn't. Wh-who would w-want me? I'm f-fucking h-hideous. Th-this st-stupid automail. All th-these scars. N-no w-wonder he b-broke up w-with me."

"That's enough, Ed. Don't talk about yourself like that."

"But it's t-true!"

The general gritted his teeth together, fighting with himself. There were some things about Fullmetal he'd never said aloud; hell, he'd never even really allowed himself to think about it too much. But now... Now Edward was hurting, putting himself down in the worst ways in his mourning of a lost relationship. What if he did something drastic?

"See? You've got nothing to say back to it. It _is_ true."

"No. It's not." Roy caught Edward's tear-slickened chin with a finger, tilting his head back to look down into glistening golden eyes. "Damn, your eyes... They're even more breathtaking than the sun. So bright and energetic; amber and copper swirled together to make one beautiful, indescribable color. Just like your hair. It's so damn... amazing- gold with darker highlights that just shine in the light. You are the smartest person I have _ever_ met. You are so brilliant and clever. The look on your face when you're concentrating... Damn, Ed, it's so stunning. On top of all that knowledge, your scars show just how brave you are; how many obstacles you've been presented with and overcome. And the automail? It symbolizes your determination; you were knocked off your feet- bound to a wheelchair and unable to do much for yourself.

But you didn't give up. No. You found a way to continue on, no matter how much agony you had to go through. You picked yourself back up and dragged yourself along, even after you'd lost half of your limbs, your mother, and your brother's body. You were so determined to return your brother to the flesh... and you did it." He took a deep, trembling breath. Edward could slap him for this; he'd just had his heart broken, after all, and could think the general was just trying to snake his way in when he was vulnerable. "You, Edward Elric, are the most breathtakingly gorgeous, stunningly brilliant, stubbornly determined, stupidly brave person I have _ever_ had the pleasure of laying undeserving eyes on. And, yes, I _do_ mean that. Every. Single. Word."

For a moment, Edward just stared up at him, eyes wet, and Roy was sure he would be slapped. So the blond raised shaking, flesh fingers to barely brush his jawbone, arching up so he was only inches away, the general was frozen with shock. "How long h-have you th-thought all that?"

He swallowed hard. As much as he didn't want to tell Ed, he didn't see that he had much of a choice anymore. "Since you stepped into this building and demanded to take the exam to become a State Alchemist." he answered, hand slipping around from the other's chin to cup the back of his neck. "Hell, even since I first met you for most of it."

The tip of the younger man's finger brushed his bottom lip, breath following soon after to ghost over his skin. "Roy, I-"

"Hey, Boss!" Ed flinched, shifting back as he looked away. Roy lifted his head, but he already knew what he would see. Havoc was standing just outside the door, staring at them. The expression on his face was unreadable, but he knew being caught like this couldn't be a good thing. Not since the man that had been in his arms and the one addressing him now had just broken up. "Riza says you need to come back in and finish signing these papers. Now." Jean's voice was tight, controlled; he wasn't surprised.

"I- Okay. Tell her I'll be back in just a moment."

Havoc opened his mouth to say something, paused, then closed it again and nodded. "Yes, sir." Then, thankfully, he left. The general let out a sigh before leaning forward and hugging Edward one more time.

"If you need me, you know where to find me. In fact, I'd like it if you'd come out to meet me at the bar after work?" When the blond pulled back and gave him a suspicious look, he added, "Just to talk," to ensure that he had no ill intentions.

"Well, okay, I guess..." the young alchemist agreed reluctantly, voice thick from having cried so much. He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his coat once more before shakily getting to his feet, offering a hand to help Roy up. "I'll see you this evening, then." he mumbled before heading off- rather slowly, especially when compared to his usual pace- to his dorm room.

"Yeah. See you this evening." the dark-haired man breathed after him, smiling slightly before he headed back into his office. It'd be a shame if Hawkeye shot him before he and Edward could talk later.

* * *

><p><strong>So... What did you think? Leave a review and let me know, puh-leeeeeaaaase!<strong>

**As you can probably tell, this is not the end of this story. It will be either a two-shot or a three-shot. I haven't really decided... (I'm sure you've noticed by now, but I'm not good with planning ahead. =D) But, that's the end of /this/ part. So... lemme know what you think in a review- yes I said it again- so I can know if I need to continue it. Yay! xD**

**Review! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**IMPORTANT (WHICH IS WHY IT'S IN CAPS): I KNOW MOST PEOPLE DON'T KEEP UP WITH MY PROFILE, BUT IF YOU READ MOST OF MY STORIES, YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK IT OUT NOW. I'VE GOT IMPORTANT NOTES ABOUT A COUPLE OF MY STORIES ON THERE, SO IT WOULD DO YOU GOOD TO READ THOSE NOTES. **

**(This has been posted once. I had my beta look over it, fix errors- because I apparently have been typing while in a crate of potatoes xD- and now it's ready for viewing without you thinking about my stupid errors. xD)  
><strong>

**You people have no faith at all in me! Do you honestly think I can't write a one, two, three, or four shot without getting another idea for it that makes it longer? T-T ... That actually makes me feel really good... and bad... at the same time. It's very weird... **

**You people will probably be getting a lot of one-shots and updates and shit from me. Maybe. I am making no promises. Cause I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Ever. xD Anyways, I've got medical tests tomorrow. Again. So I might be getting writing down, cause I have to go to work with my mom afterwards. Unless my little cousins attack me, because they are there and that is a huge possibility. But you didn't wanna know that. Anywho, on with it. **

**Disclaimer: Getting really tired of saying this, but I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Hiromu Arakawa-sensei does, and I worship her for thinking it up and putting it down on paper. =D Thanks for reading this lengthy- for a disclaimer- disclaimer. **

**Warnings: Foul language. Boy x boy, but no yaoi. FEEL SAD FOR ED! FEEL SAD FOR HIM! And then better. But... just read. -.-  
><strong>

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Come on already. I don't even want to remember my name until morning; I want to forget everything for a little while." Edward urged as he turned and began to amble towards the door.<p>

"If you're just planning on drinking yourself to death, then we'll stay here." Roy sighed as he put the last file to the side of his desk, where they'd be picked up in the morning. It was rather hypocritical of him to tell the blond not to drink so much when he himself had been known to do the very same thing when he was upset, and he knew it. But he'd rather be a hypocrite than have the younger alchemist wind up an alcoholic. Ed opened his mouth to say something, but the dark-haired man cut him off with, "And before you say, 'Why the hell are we going to a bar if you won't let me drink?' my reason for going to a bar is privacy."

"Privacy? How is a bar at all private?" Unfortunately, the general didn't answer the question. He simply got up and picked up his greatcoat, watchful gold eyes on him the whole time.

"Come on, then. Weren't you the one complaining about wanting to leave?" Roy asked, gesturing for Edward to follow him. The younger alchemist stared after him for a moment, then raced down the hall to catch up with the older man. He was quiet for a few minutes, then he started talking- rambling and complaining. The dark-haired man knew the whole reason behind the mindless chatter: Ed didn't want to talk about what had happened earlier. Not yet, anyways. But the young Elric wasn't one to put things off, and this would be no different; before long, he'd get tired of procrastinating and get to the point.

"Where the hell are you taking me, anyways?" he asked after about fifteen minutes of walking. A quick glance around proved that there were no bars on the street.

"My aunt Chris' place. She'll let us have a backroom to talk in private. And I can get you dinner if you'd like." Roy offered, casting a sideways glance in Fullmetal's direction.

"Madame Christmas' bar? Oh..." Edward received a surprised, what-are-you-talking-about look from the older man, to which he shrugged and quickly glanced away. "I... Uh, Havoc brought me here one time. It was... a while back. We had room number four... Now that I think about it... Well... I think the sick bastard recorded it or had pictures taken somehow or... something." He let out a humorless chuckle, watching his feet. "At the time... I..." he trailed off, unsure of how to continue the statement. Rather, he knew exactly where he was going with it, he just didn't want to actually voice it.

"Let's go; it's right around the corner. We'll talk there." Then there was a gentle hand on his lower back, guiding him forward on the sidewalk. Golden eyes lifted to the taller man; never had his superior been so gentle and nice to him. In fact, they were usually doing nothing other than bickering and yelling, though he couldn't really blame all of that on the general. He had been known to start the arguments. Quite often, actually. It wasn't like he'd ever really wanted Roy to hate him; in fact, what he wanted was the total opposite. But he'd loved Havoc, too, and he'd had the blond smoker. So why would he give up what he had and loved for something he may not get? Now, of course, he didn't really have to worry about that.

There wasn't any kind of bell over the door, so there was no tinkling sound when the taller man pushed it open. That didn't mean it didn't get the attention of the girls standing behind the bar. They smiled as they greeted them- Roy, really, as they didn't seem to be paying much attention to the blond that was walking just slightly behind him- happily, a brunette leaning forward onto the counter.

"Sorry to say that Madame Christmas isn't in. Shall I tell her you stopped by?"

"No thanks, Miss Isabelle. I was actually interested in one of your rooms. Not for long, just long enough for dinner." Roy replied, elbows on the counter as he leaned forward. The girl giggled; it was a rather nice laugh, tinkling.

"Oh? Who is she, Roy-Boy?"

"Do I look like a girl to you?" Ed snapped from behind him, glaring at the girl. Of course, it was only a profile view, as he'd looked away. "I don't have boobs, lady. And even if I did, I wouldn't be showing them off like you are."

"Sorry, don't pay any attention to him. He's... had a bad few days. Bad breakup, ya know?" the dark-haired man cut in, casting a pointed look over his shoulder at his young companion.

"No problem. I get snide remarks all the time. That's not even the worst I've heard." she replied, holding out a key on a ring. "Here's your key, sweetheart."

"Bring us the best on the menu, Isabelle." he called.

"If Madame Christmas heard you say that, she'd have your head. According to her, everything on our menus if the best."

Roy smirked at her, turning and taking Ed's hand. The blond let out a quiet gasp, fingers twitching slightly. The older man chuckled as he led the other to a inconspicuous door in the back of the room, to the right of the counter. The hall behind it was even more dimly lit, with velvety curtains hanging elegantly from above them and chandeliers hanging from the ceilings. There were doors on either sides, going up to twelve. They passed room number four, and Edward let out a relieved sigh, not looking over at it. The keys jingled right in front of his nose.

"Don't worry. Room number eight." Roy assured him. The blond faltered, then weakly smiled up at the other. The dark-haired man jiggled the key into the doorknob, then unlocked the door and pushed it open. The room looked pretty much the same as the other one he'd been in, though the layout was different. There was a large bed, complete with a canopy and drapes; a small table in front of a funny-looking couch.

Unsurprisingly, Edward chose the couch. No way was he sprawling across the bed with Roy right beside. Not yet, anyways. Eventually, he hoped, and soon if he got his wish. Still, he was surprised when his superior sat on the couch and turned to watch him intently, inviting him to talk. At first, he didn't. But then the words bubbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, picking up right where he'd left off outside. "At the time, I was so damn in love that I didn't even notice... or care. He could've done whatever he fucking wanted and I wouldn't have cared. I guess that's one reason that... I just can't believe it. I would have done anything for him. Hell, I _did _do anything for him! How could he do this to me?" Ed slammed his fist against the soft cushion, dropping his head. "You think god is still punishing me? For all that shit I did? Wouldn't be fuckin' surprised." He chuckled darkly, though it broke off with a sharp breath.

"Ed, nobody's punishing you. This happens to _everyone_. You'll fall in love... maybe a million times, but you'll find someone." Roy replied quietly, resting a hand on the side of the blond's neck, underneath the soft hair that had fallen out of the braid. "And they'll love you for you. They'll never let you go, no matter what." He saw the other man shake his head slowly, his shoulders tense, and then practically throw himself into his lap. The general sat there, arms open, in stunned silence for a moment, watching the young alchemist burying his face in his chest.

"So... if I love someone else, the hurt will go away?" Edward asked childishly, voice muffled by Roy's button-up. (He'd taken off the thick, hot military jacket and left it at his office, tucked away in a closet just as he'd done quite a number of times before.)

He faltered for a moment before simply saying, "For the most part, yes."

"What if I told you... that... I-I thought I loved you?" The made the older man stop completely, heart stuttering uncertainly in his chest. When minutes had passed and he still hadn't answered, hurt and questioning gold eyes lifted to him. "Well?"

"You and Havoc just broke up. You're confused and hurt and you don't know what you're say-"

"I felt this way even before he and I... uh... you know. I know they're real, and I know... that... I want to be with you." He pushed up on one knee enough that he was inches from Roy's face, automail hand gripping his collar tight. "Please." Their chests and stomachs were pressed together by now, the younger's lips ghosting along his superior's jawline. "I know you notice me; I know you've been looking. With what you said earlier, I'm even willing to bet my remaining limbs and even my _heart_ that you like me." By now, he'd reached an ear and his lips lightly toyed with the lobe. "Hell, I'd even go so far as to say that you want me. And I want you. So just _take me_, Roy!"

"Don't you ever take things slow, Edward?" the older alchemist sighed, fingers working gently against the back of Ed's neck where his hand was still resting. The blond practically purred, eyes closing. "We need a starting point, and that starting point is not sex. That's usually a second date thing- at the _bare minimum._"

"What are you so afraid of? Don't you take people on dates, fuck them, and dump them?" Not that they weren't fine with it; they both knew good and well they were fine with it. So why was it any different with him? Sure, he wasn't fond of the 'dump them' part, but if his assumptions were right, then they could skip that step. And if not, well, he'd been asking for this one. That didn't mean he wouldn't be torn up about it, but if need be he could drink himself to hysteria, blubber and bitch to Alphonse for a little while, and then pass out on his brother's lap. Which he would have been doing now had Roy not interfered. He had to say, he preferred this option.

"You're not... Uhm... That's different." A liquid amber eye slid open slowly- though the other remained closed- and a thin, delicate blond brow arched gracefully into his bangs, towards his hairline. That was an unmistakable look; there was no way Roy could pretend he didn't know what it meant, or even that he hadn't noticed it. Ed was silently asking w_hy_ was he different. The general took a steadying breath, trying to come up with a suitable answer that wasn't the whole truth and not completely a lie either. "They are... how shall I put this? They're people who want me for my reputation or my looks. They don't care to know the real me; they've never butted heads with me, nor have they laughed at me. They haven't looked at me with any form of real fondness or affection, and nothing near love. So I give them something they want, if only for one night. For the most part, they're satisfied with that. But... Ed... you know me. We've argued, and we've had our moments where we could be the oldest, closest friends. I don't want to ruin that." He paused, took a deep breath.

"You're right, though. I do like you. I want you, in every sense of the word. But I also want us to be sure about what we're getting into. I want us to take at least a little while and get comfortable with this before we try anything. Yes, I could see us going somewhere. But you just broke up with Havoc; I don't want you to do something you'll look back on and think _'Why the fuck did I do that? What was I thinking?' _and regret it." It was another one of those moments- just like earlier, when they'd been so close together under the tree in the courtyard and he had basically spilled everything he'd thought about Ed for the longest time- where wide, damp eyes locked with his, watching unblinkingly.

"You really care about me... don't you?" Fullmetal saw his superior hesitate just slightly, then- reluctantly, it seemed- nod.

"More than you know."

"Kiss me." It was a timid demand. Swimming golden eyes flitted away from his own momentarily, then skirted back and held steady. They sensed the protest there. "Please. It's all I want. No sex. But... a kiss can't hurt anything... right?" Still, the general faltered, lips parted as his breath ghosted out from behind them. Gently, Edward traced his top lip- gorgeously thinner than the fuller bottom lip. "It'll make me feel better, Roy. I just want to taste you." That was when he saw the dark-haired man's resolve crumble away completely, and he nodded in agreement. It wasn't as eager as he'd hoped, but he'd expected it to be like this. Still, Roy had agreed. As he leaned forward and began tilting his head to the right just a bit, he was acutely aware of the fingers on the back of his neck tightening uncertainly. But then his lips were molded against another set of smooth, warm lips, which made him notice that his own lips were chapped just slightly. Probably from taking jagged breaths in-between sobs the previous day.

Then Roy's lips slid against his own and he totally forgot about them being rougher than they should be. And after a few moments of that teasing sliding, he was beginning to get impatient. To show this quickly forming impatience, he made a low, irritated sound in his throat. The older man seemed to take the hint, for only a moment later a slick, bold tongue slipped against the crease where his top lip met the bottom. He wasted no time in parting them, granting entrance to the now-insisting muscle. As a hand slowly slid down his shoulder, along the curve of his waist, and came to a stop at his jutting right hipbone, he wrapped his arms around the other's neck, holding him firmly in place and refusing to let him pull away. Fortunately for him- and not all that surprising- Roy didn't want to pull away, proving it by letting his warm tongue probe every corner of Ed's mouth: Rub against the roof, slide along his teeth and the insides of his cheeks, toy and twist with his own tongue.

The blond pulled back with a gasp, panting for much-needed air. His cheeks were flushed, the bridge of his nose, too. Roy was pretty sure his own face was pink from lack of air, too, but he ducked back in, kissing the corner of Ed's mouth. He dragged his lips along the line of the other's jaw, thumb gently rubbing the hollow behind his right ear. There was a breathy gasp right in his ear, and he smiled to himself, knowing he was doing something right. When his lips brushed the younger man's ear, breath blowing strands of soft golden hair out of his way, his tongue darted out to give the lobe a short lick. Then, feeling Edward tense, his lips continued their journey, taking a southerly route this time.

The young alchemist's head fell back into his superior's hand, eyes fluttering closed of their own accord as the hand on his hip slid around to the small of his back, right above the curve of his ass. His fingernails dug into the back of the other man's neck when he felt teeth nip at the sensitive skin on his throat, right above where his collar would hide. He was definitely going to the office in the morning... and hopefully Havoc was, too.

"R-Roy. You're killing me, you know that?" Edward panted, shifting in the man's lap.

"Mm?" the general hummed questioningly, pulling away from abusing the blond's neck to look up at him. The other's lips were swollen, wet and shining in the dim light. His face was rosy, eyes glazed and pupils blown with lust. His chest was heaving with his labored breathing, and one corner of his mouth twitched just slightly as he examined Roy's face.

Whatever he saw must have pleased him, and the dark-haired man wasn't all surprised. The sight in front of him was more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen. Damn it all if his face didn't betray what he _really_ wanted to do, no matter how many times he insisted they had to wait- and that he _wanted _to wait. Which he was starting to regret ever saying.

"You tell me you won't fuck me, then you turn around and do this to me." He shifted again, rubbing just right and _damn _it felt so good, but Roy couldn't because it wasn't right. "It's just not fair."

"I explained why earlier, Ed. I don't want either of us to regret it, and your judgement is... slightly compromised at the moment." Maybe compromised wasn't the right word. Maybe it was. His mind was fuzzy and warm right now, and he didn't really want to think about it. Edward's neck looked absolutely delicious, and that was all his mind was even trying to focus on. His eyes must have been locked on it- he wasn't really sure about anything anymore- because Ed reached up and carefully tugged his collar a little bit farther from his throat. Golden eyes slid slowly down to look at him, though he didn't notice because he was so entranced by the smooth tan skin, and Ed let out a breathy sound.

"Tell me, Roy, why your mouth is all the way over there, and not over here." the blond husked, pointing to the very slight mark on the side of his neck. The general smirked slightly, leaned forward and nuzzled the tip of his nose to the mark. The other man's neck fell back again, bared for him to do whatever he wanted to the nose was gone, and there was a rough pinch where teeth nipped and tugged. They let go. Lips locked around the mark. Ed moaned. His automail fingers twisted in dark hair as the older man sucked the spot. He writhed; the lips moved, breath ghosting over the wet spot. A warm tongue flattened right below the slowly darkening mark, slid a long line up the side of his neck. "Oh, god, Roy." Ed whined, wiggling his hips against the other's. Roy grunted loudly.

"Do I need to come back?" The smirking voice came from the door. The young alchemist, eyes half-lidded, lifted his head and stared in the general direction that it came from, then squinted in order to see the person clearly. The general had looked around, too; he wasn't having as hard a time focusing, though. It was the girl from earlier, Isabelle. Her expression matched her voice: smirking. "Thought you were just going to talk, Roy?"

"Isabelle." the man returned harshly, glaring at her. Not that Edward could see.

"Alright, alright. Here." She placed a tray on the table in front of the couch. "That's your food. Do I need to make preparation for the cleaning crew to work in this room?"

"Isabelle." he threatened again, and she rolled her eyes, patting the air with a hand before exiting the room again. He looked back to his partner. The elder Elric's lips were parted, drawing quiet breaths, just a bit quicker than usual. His cheeks were even more flushed than they'd been the last time he looked, and he couldn't even see much of his eyes. After a moment's thought, he decided. "We should eat." He didn't want it to get any farther than it already had.

"I..." Ed trailed off, looking at him for just a moment. "Okay."

The food was really nice; Edward inhaled it just like he did every other meal. There was only one complaint that he had: It wasn't Roy. Other than that, he loved it and he curled against Roy's side as the older man finished his own meal. He drew patterns on the other man's thigh contentedly, but his finger suddenly slowed and stopped, hand dropping flat on his knee.

"I haven't really stayed by myself at night for a long time, besides last night. I've been staying with Havoc..." he mumbled, mostly to himself but hoping the other man would offer something. He hated being all alone in his dorm room. It was dark, and he often woke up because of nightmares, even though he'd gotten Al's body back. Waking up to those nightmares had always been bad, but with no one there to bring him back out of that dark place and into reality it was even worse. Last night he hadn't slept, so he hadn't had to worry about it then. But now...

"Well," Roy settled back and wrapped an arm around the blond's shoulders, "I suppose you could stay the night at my place. It's closer than the dorms, anyways, and it's getting rather late. You're probably as tired as I am." He took a sip from the wine glass in his hand. Personally, he preferred something stronger, like scotch or whiskey, but he'd gotten both of them wine so as not to impair their judgement too much. Ed's face lit up, finger beginning to draw patterns on his thigh again.

"Thanks." The rest of the general's drink was thrown back. They sat there silently for a few more moments, Ed's fingers still drawing and Roy stroking his fingers through soft, golden hair. "We were only supposed to have the room for a little while. I'm ready to go if you are." he finally said, breaking the silence and looking up expectantly at the older man. Now that he looked- really, _really _looked- the older alchemist could see dark circles starting under exhausted gold eyes. It was accented by a cool, steel hand reaching up to rub one of them sleepily. It was damn adorable and Roy was sure the thoughts from earlier were trying to choke him for even thinking them when Ed was in such a condition. So he stood up, slipping his arm from around the blond.

"Oh... Uh... Yeah. It'll take a little while to get to my house anyways." he mumbled, offering a hand to the seated man. Warm, flesh fingers wrapped around it, tugged, and then Edward was on his feet, only slightly unsteady from being so tired. The general chuckled, offering an arm, which was gladly taken and leaned fully against. It was impossible not to smile at him. He was an adult, sure, but he still did some of the cutest, most childish things without even realizing it or meaning to. Not that he'd ever say that aloud around the blond, but he could think about it as much as he liked.

"You're gon' hafta lead the way, Roy. Dunno where you live." he slurred into a bicep, muffling his voice. It made it nearly impossible to even hear what was said.

"I had assumed so. Just don't fall asleep on me there." the older man replied, leading him out and locking the door behind them. Ed made a noncommittal sound and breathed deeply of Roy's scent, smiling slightly. His eyes were closed, so when it suddenly got louder and a bit brighter (he could tell even with his eyes closed,) he was fairly annoyed. From above him, he heard Roy say, "Here you go, Miss Isabelle. Room's free again. Tell my aunt that I said to take care of herself, and her food is as good as usual."

"No problem. Drop by again soon. Don't come by often enough anymore, sweetheart." was the reply. They were moving again, and Roy was chuckling and shifting; he assumed that was a wave, but he didn't hear his superior say anything else. Then it was suddenly cooler, darker, and quiet. Obviously, they were outside and it was dark. He was pretty sure they'd turned in the opposite direction they'd come. But his eyes were still closed. If he opened them, the moment would be ruined, and all of this might turn out not be real. Unfortunately, even being led as he was, he couldn't see his feet or what was in his way, and he tripped, pitching forward and nearly faceplanting on the hard cement.

Arms wrapped around his waist, breath hot in his ear, and he stopped, wide eyes locked on a small piece of the ground. Those arms dragged him back up, against a firm chest, and his heart nearly stopped. "You should watch where you're going, Ed. I don't want that gorgeous face of yours to wind up smashed and torn up." Breath ghosted over his ear with every word. His cheeks heated up again.

"I-I... okay. " Then, the arms slipped from around his waist, his hand was taken, and he was being led forwards again. It didn't last much longer. He looked up, and there were in front of a two-story house, gorgeous but more modest than he'd thought it would be. There were two steps leading up to a porch, complete with a swing and a rocking chair. Ed smiled slightly, hurrying to catch up with the older man, who was already unlocking the door; he'd let go of his companion's hand to allow him a moment to take it all in. "Nice place you got here. Figured with your ego, it'd be a whole hell of a lot more showy, though." the blond joked tiredly, stepping in before Roy could even welcome him in. Even now, he could still make rude quips at the man he'd been at odds with for the past seven years.

"Haha. Very funny." the general muttered, rolling his eyes as he closed the door and slipped his boots off. He pushed them to the side, up against the wall, glanced at the blond, and smiled. Then he said, "I'll hang your coat up." because he was holding his own coat and looking around like he was completely lost. Ed smiled back, and held the red coat out to Roy. "The guest room is upstairs, second door on the left. Mine is the third on the right. I can show you up if you'd like."

"Nah. I can find it. You sure you're okay with this?" Edward asked, just to make sure. All he got was a smirk, a raised eyebrow, and a nod.

"Yeah, Ed, I'm sure." The blond's mouth opened, but he seemed to think better of saying whatever he'd been thinking about, closed it, and nodded his head. "I'll be up to bed in a few minutes. See you in the morning."

"G'night." Ed turned and trekked up the stairs. Even if he couldn't see his face, Roy was sure he was already half asleep. Making an attempt at hiding a chuckle, the dark-haired man walked into the living room, glancing and the mantle above the fire place and then around the room, undecided. What he wanted to do... it was childish and stupid. If Edward caught him, he'd never live it down, nor would he ever forget it, because the young man wouldn't let him. But still, he walked over to the mantle... and the picture sitting on it. It was the one of he and Maes from their cadet days, one of the glasses-wearing man's arms thrown around his shoulders. He smiled at it, because they were both smiling and he remember it perfectly well.

"What do you think of all this, Maes? Would you hate me if you were here? Be totally against it?" There was no reply from the photograph, which didn't surprise him. "Is it wrong?" He dropped his head onto the forearm resting on the mantle, letting out a breath. "God, Maes. I wish you were here. You always knew what to tell me." Again, there was no reply. No comforting voice that he recognized as Maes'. So he sighed again, louder this time, before he picked his head up, slowly turned and left the living room. He trekked up the stairs, feeling exhaustion set in. By the time he made it to his room, he was at the point where he only bothered off taking off his pants and shirt before he fell forward onto the bed, closed his eyes, and fell right to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>1:18 AM<em>

That's what the alarm clock said. What his _head_ said, though, was _Why the hell am I awake right now? I don't have to be up for five more hours. _But then he remembered: There had been a scream. Not long, lasting just a few moments and then dying quickly. It was in his own house, he knew. But who was it? He was sure he didn't have anyone over... did he? So he stopped for a second, thought really hard, and then jolted up. _Edward. _He was running for Edward's door and nearly slammed into it before he could even think. The doorknob apparently didn't want him to go in, though, because he had to fight with it for what seemed like ages. But it finally swung away from him and revealed Ed. The blond had twisted the covers around and kicked them to the foot of his bed. His golden eyes were huge, sweat dripping down his face and terror written in every line and feature.

"Ed?" he asked hesitantly, feet frozen to the floor in the doorway. Those eyes didn't move, and nothing was done to show that he was even aware Roy was in there. As if on impulse, the dark-haired man walked over to the bed, sat down on the edge, and wrapped his arms around the other man's shoulders. Edward tensed, and those golden eyes finally flew over to him.

"Roy?" he croaked, eyes beginning to tear up.

"What happened?"

"N-nightmare. I-It was n-nothing, r-really."

"It didn't sound like nothing." the general pointed out quietly, pressing his lips to warm, honey-blond hair. At that, the man in his arms fell silent, leaning into his chest. The nightmares had always been bad. Even though he'd accomplished his goal of getting Al's body back, he still had them. They might even be worse now. But, being who he was and how he was, he didn't want anyone to know. Roy was here and he was asking, and he seemed so caring... and he just couldn't keep quiet _or _tell him no.

"Okay, fine, it was really bad. They always are. I'm used to it, and they just disorient me and throw me off and stuff for a few minutes. That's it. I'm fine." "Come to bed with me. At least you won't wake up alone if it happens again." Startled eyes lifted up, stared at him quietly and questioningly. "Don't look at me like that. Either come with me, or I'm not leaving. I'd prefer to sleep through the night, because I have to wake up early and I don't want to be woken up again."

"Selfish bastard."

"I want you to be able to sleep, Ed." the man whispered in his ear, nose gently nudging the shell. The blond's cheeks heated up, brightening quickly and thoroughly.

"O-okay." And so he let Roy lead him over to the master bedroom. Still unsure, he settled down on the left side of the bed, and the dark-haired man on the right. It didn't take long for the other's breath to deepen and even out with sleep. After nightmares woke him up, it usually took forever to fall back to sleep. But, with his hopefully-soon- to-be lover's breath lulling him, he fell asleep mere minutes afterwards.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter done! Probably one more chapter, then over. Probably the shortest story I've ever written besides a one-shot or drabble. O.o<strong>

**Hope you've enjoyed so far! Review and let me know just how much? -adorable smile from Eddo, who I held up a picture of-**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao**


	3. Chapter 3

**Insomnia... is not fun. But I bet you people love it now; I don't sleep, and you get a chapter. I'm just gonna start sleeping whenever I can. Fuck regular sleeping schedules. I assume band camp will fix those, anyways, by tiring me the fuck out. **

**But I guess you didn't come here to hear me rant. You came here to read my story, and that's all you care about. Not the authoress herself. -in corner- **

**This chapter, again, is not beta'd. My beta is asleep, and I wanna go ahead and get this published. See problems? Deal with them. You know what I meant, and everyone makes mistakes. Plus, Madarao is too pissed right now to care. Fuck sleeping. **

**Disclaimer: I do not, and never have nor will I ever, own Fullmetal Alchemist. I... am not a glasses-wearing cow, therefore I am not Hiromu Arakawa. Sound familiar? Yeah, that's the name at the bottom of the FMA volumes. See the name at the top of this page? Hiromu Arakawa DOES NOT EQUAL Madarao. If you think it does... kindly get some medical help and do not sit outside my bedroom window, you crazy stalker people.**

**Warnings: Hard-to-get, mostly crude Madarao-humor. Foul language (I should stop even saying this. If you're reading my stories, you should know I cuss like a sailor, and therefore there is a lot of cussing in my stories.) TEH LEMONZ! Cha! **

**Enjoy the last chapter of How Do I Say 'I Love You?' (Yes, there is a fucking question mark at the end, but FF won't show it! Fuck. -.-)**

* * *

><p>One of three things could be happening: One, the entire world could be shaking; two, he could be on a bed being shaken by two crazy people having sex at his feet, which he would not be happy about and be forced to kick their asses; three, he overslept again and Hawkeye was shaking him awake... and coming to kill him with that damn gun that she handled so lovingly. Faced with this situation, there was only one thing he could do: He brought hand from out of the covers, flapped it around weakly, mumbled something that sounded like "Mmm mtym tm smlp hm." and flopped over onto his other side. Unfortunately, that put him where the light was angled directly into his face. It burned and it was too damn bright. So he pulled the thick comforter up over his head. It muffled the exasperated sigh from whoever had been shaking him.<p>

That knocked out option number one.

"Edward, come on and get up; we've got to go to work."

And that knocked out options two and three.

"Roy?" he grumbled to the pillow, nuzzling his nose farther into it.

"Who else would it be? Now come on. I've got breakfast waiting for you downstairs. You might want to hurry along with it, because we've got about forty-five minutes before we have to leave."

Ed ate like the food would be taken away from him. He showered like the water was acid. But when they got to dressing and putting his hair up? He moved as if he had all the time in the world. Roy urged him on, trying to coax him to move faster; nothing worked. Not even promising him food, which surprised him greatly. Instead of walking as was the usual mode of transportation to work, they wound up taking the car because the younger alchemist took so long brushing his hair and putting it up into a sleek ponytail, one that would shine in the light and swing merrily with every step he took. Needless to say, it was hard for the general to stay mad at him for too long.

The drive was short. Roy had decided not to live very far away as he himself had a terrible habit of oversleeping. Those mornings, he had to rush to work, often skipping breakfast, and living closer to Central Headquarters was an advantage. One he was rather happy to have.

_Do not paw the Fullmetal Alchemist. Do not paw the Fullmetal Alchemist. Don't. Fucking. Touch. The Fullmetal Alchemist. _It was a mantra that was played over and over in his head as he sat behind his desk, grip on his pen tight and head tilted down. But just because it _looked _like his eyes were on the stack of requests in front of him didn't mean they actually w_ere. _In fact, it was quite the opposite; they had rolled up so as to have a lovely view of Edward's ass as he stretched up to grab yet another book off of one of the many bookshelves in his new office. He'd gotten them in hopes that the young alchemist might stick around the office for a little bit longer than necessary. No such luck. Ed settled back on his right foot, set just a little bit behind the left foot, and flipped the cover of the book he'd chosen open. _Dammit. He just needs to sit his ass down and not move. _His hold on the pen slackened a bit and one corner of his mouth tilted down. _No, that probably wouldn't work. He'd sprawl across the couch in that careless way of his and that would be just as bad. _

Havoc wasn't in yet, which was both unusual and obviously distressing the young alchemist standing at the book case. Roy, of course, wasn't quite sure of the reason. Yesterday, he'd seemed quite happy to get out of the same building as the smoker. And now he was anxiously awaiting the man's arrival? Something wasn't right.

So when the second lieutenant finally did walk through the door and Edward didn't even seem to notice, Roy was practically a rag doll in his chair, dumbstruck and wondering what the hell was going on. Then the blond cast a smile at him, and what could he do but smile back. That was when he noticed that Havoc was intently watching Ed, and the way he turned to give the smile to the general gave the office crew a clear view of the dark love mark on the side of his neck. Breda and Falman didn't notice, of course, but Fuery let out a surprised gasp. Hawkeye stared at it a moment, then sighed and turned back to her work. Havoc looked completely livid; he was actually beginning to turn purple.

_... Oh. _

"Ed, I think we need to talk." That was Havoc, trying to act calm and collected. Everyone could hear the pure, burning anger and control in his voice. The blond didn't help himself by simply blinking innocently at his ex-boyfriend.

"What do you mean? Why? It's not like we're together anymore or anything." Which didn't do anyone any good; sometimes, Roy wished Edward would learn to shut his damn mouth. If possible, the second lieutenant looked even more mad, and Ed simply arched a brow questioningly at him. "Problems, Havoc?"

"Who?"

"Excuse me, what was that?"

"Who the hell gave you... that?" He was growling through his teeth now, narrowing his eyes at the mark on the other man's neck. Ed smiled, pointed to it. One eyebrow arched delicately to ask _Oh, you mean this?_ The look on Havoc's face gave him his answer.

"Doesn't matter." the young alchemist replied aloofly, shrugging his shoulders and turning back to the bookcase. Carefully, he slid the book back into its place, picked up another that drew his attention. Behind him, his ex-boyfriend was gaping at him, still flushed with anger. "But I will tell you... he's everything _you _aren't, you bastard."

At his desk, Roy smirked. Fuery gasped loudly. Hawkeye stopped, arms full of files, and stared. Breda and Falman actually noticed something was going on. And Havoc... his jaw hit the desk, eyes bugging out of his skull and attempting to run for cover. Again, he did the impossible: he looked so pissed Roy was sure that he was going to explode.

For once, the entire office was silent. It was almost as scary as the vibes radiating from the second lieutenant.

Edward looked over his shoulder, obviously feeling the many stares- and one glare- boring into his shoulder blades. He blinked innocently again, frowned, and said, "Shouldn't you be working?"

Roy nearly fell out of his desk chair laughing, clutching his side at the sharp pain there. Hawkeye shook her head disapprovingly, turning back to her filing. Fuery looked terrified; he was the one standing closest to Havoc. Breda and Falman cracked unsure smiles; they didn't know what was going on, Breda having been distracted by tracing patterns on the ceiling and Falman by signing papers. Needless to say, Havoc wasn't doing so well.

Seeming to have found a book that would occupy his interest for the time he'd be staying here, Edward flopped across the couch carelessly. Instantly, the already-dying chuckles bubbling from Roy's lips- there had been no way to stop them, as he'd tried everything he could think of- abruptly stopped and he was riveted. Ed was leaning back against the arm of the couch, automail hand holding the top corner of the book open and the flesh hand resting on his forehead, elbow propped on the back of the couch. His left leg dangled over the side, and the other was resting- bent- against the back like his elbow. There was a look of concentration in his eyes; though if it was _rea__lly _for the book or for something else entirely, he didn't know. But _damn_ it was intoxicating. He could certainly get used to _that _sprawled on his couch every morning. Or on his bed. _No! Don't think like that! Not here!_

For a while, everything was back to normal. They did their work quietly. Roy signed paper after paper, skimming most and giving a half-assed attempt at reading the others. Every once in a while, he'd chance a glance at his almost-lover. A few times, their eyes met, and Ed smiled. How could he not smile back? So he did. It probably hadn't been the smartest decision on their part, especially after the incident from earlier. And considering that Havoc was sitting _right there _and more than likely watching Edward like a hawk- a pissed off hawk, that was.

When Havoc stood up so quickly his chair fell back, everyone was startled out of their skin, even Hawkeye. He stomped around and grabbed Edward's steel wrist, roughly jerked him to a standing position, and dragged him out of the office. Which left Roy to sit at his desk and wonder if he should follow.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"_My _problem? What the hell is _your _problem? You're going around flaunting where some... some... sex addict has sucked on your neck two days after we broke up." Havoc hissed, roughly jerking Ed's head to the side using his bangs to show the mark. "I mean... what the hell, Ed? I didn't know you were some kind of slut."

"Let go of me, you bastard." the shorter growled, slapping his wrist with his automail hand. "That hurt,, dammit! And it's not like I'm the only one with someone else. It's the whole reason you broke up with me. At least I waited until _after you _broke up with _me._ So this is your fault, and you have no right to be mad at me." He took a step away from his ex, but wound up backing into a wall and simply looked away. "If you wanted me, you should've thought about that. Besides, how can you call him a sex addict? You don't even know him! And all we ever did was fuck 'cause _you _wanted to!" Snarling, he shoved Havoc's shoulder, hands fisting at his sides. "So don't go calling him a sex addict!"

"What the hell are you protecting him for? You've only been with him a day."

"So? He treats me better than you ever did; he always has. I love him, and I'm not afraid to say it. I'd say it to him right now if he were out here."

"Who is it?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Just tell me."

For a moment, Edward simply nibbled on his lip. If he told, wouldn't that make his ex-boyfriend more jealous? And wasn't that what he wanted. "Roy." When Havoc burst out laughing, he was startled. "What?"

"You're so _stupid! _Do you not know his game? He'll make you feel like you're on top of the world, like you're his number one, and then he'll dump you and make you feel like shit."

"I'm sorry, Havoc, but I think you're confusing him with yourself." he snapped, turning to go back into the office. Fingers wrapped tightly around his flesh wrist and jerked him back. There were more fingers in his hair, jerking his head back by the bangs again.

"Is there a problem out here?" Ed didn't even have to look to know who it was, but he pulled his hair from the strong grip to see anyways. Roy was standing just outside of the door to his office, arms crossed over his strong chest and a frown on his face. The blond grinned up at his soon-to-be lover and Havoc let him go, standing erect.

"No, sir."

"Good. Return to your work."

"Yes, sir." the smoker replied bitterly, snapping a half-assed salute and trudging back into the office. But not before he pushed his ex out of his way, grumbling, "Stupid fag." at him.

Roy stepped forward, got down onto a knee, and caught Ed's face between his hands."Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?" For an answer, he got lips capturing his, sliding and licking and nipping. Then Ed suddenly pulled away and gave him one of _those _looks- one of the 'I need to ask these, but I really don't want to' looks.

"Am I just a part of a game to you?" the blond mumbled, unable to look at his superior when he asked it. The general sputtered, shocked. Did Edward really think he would do that? After all that had happened yesterday and all he'd confessed.

"No! Who the _hell_ told you tha- Havoc." Roy shook his head and pulled his soon-to-be lover against his chest, chuckling slightly in his ear. "Havoc wants to hurt you in any way possible, and he'll lie about my intentions to do so. Don't believe him, Ed. I'm not playing any kind of game with you. Everything I said was true. And... I don't want you to get hurt or change your mind after we've... done something."

"Why do you think I'll decide I don't want it afterwards?" Ed asked, tone tinged with nearly-concealed hurt. "Do you not trust me? Do you think I don't know what I want? I've _always _known what I want, and you know that. So why are you doubting it now?"

"Because, Ed... this is different than all that. It's bigger and more important than most of that." The general sighed and shook his head, then continued, "What I mean is, you might _think _that this is really what you want, and then it'll turn out that it's not. So I wanted to give you some time to be sure."

"I'm sure. I'm absolutely sure. I've thought about it long before yesterday, so I _know." _

"We should get back before Hawkeye decides to kill me. We can finish this at home."

"As if that isn't an over-used line." But he huffed off back to the office behind Roy.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"Are you through in there?" came a deep voice over the loud spray of the shower. Fingers threaded through golden strands, suds all over his hair and skin, a certain alchemist twisted to glare at the door. "You've been in there for fucking _ages_!"

"We have been through this! My hair is thick and it takes forever to wash. It's _not_ my fault!" When there was no reply, he was surprised. He'd expected the suggestion of cutting his hair, but maybe Roy didn't want him to.

"Would you at least open the door so I can go to the bathroom?" was the request after a long silence. Considering, Ed slid his fingers through his hair, rinsing the shampoo out. After a few moments, he dropped his hands and reached out from behind the curtain to search blindly for a stark white towel to cover himself with when he went to open the door.

"You just want to see me naked, wet, and soapy." he called back, finding one and stepping out to wrap it around his waist. He opened the door to reveal a grinning, dark-haired general.

"That's just a bonus." Roy replied coyly, sliding his arms around a slick waist. Edward yelped in surprise, catching the towel that was slowly descending from his hips (it had come loose and begun to slip.) Lips pressed against his forehead, then the tip of his nose, and finally his lips. "Why would you go and do a thing like that?" His cheeks heated up, but then the arms were gone and he was pissed. "You can return to your shower now." Ed growled and stomped back to the mat in front of the tub.

"Fucking tease." he snarled. The towel hit the ground and he clambered back into the tub.

"You know you love it." the general replied, turning. Which had been a mistake, considering he'd hear the automail hit something hard. His downstairs brain was very interested in what he saw, though: A firm, round ass just before it disappeared behind the shower curtain.

"Quit staring."

"I was no-"

"Yes you were."

Pause. "How'd you know?"

"Because you're a filthy pervert. And I just know." The shower turned back on. Roy groaned quietly. "Don't complain. You're the one who said no sex."

"When did I say that?" he asked, blinking as if in confusion. A wet head, (**harhar, like my joke?**) complete with hair that was dripping and still full of soap suds, appeared from behind the curtain, frowning.

"When have you not said it?" After a moment, the face broke out into a grin, and a steel index finger beckoned to him silently. "Do you want it?"

"Mhm." the general hummed, not quite trusting his voice.

"Then come take it." Then the curtain was jerked shut, and he heard a chuckle from behind it. His clothes hit the ground before the plastic had settled and he followed the gorgeous blond in.

"About damn time. What took you so long?" aforementioned blond complained. Almost instantly, there were fingers in his hair, a mouth on his, and he was being tugged back. He heard metal connect loudly with hard tile, and he knew that the younger man had backed up against the cool wall. But the tongue probing against his was rather distracting and he couldn't really bring himself to care. His own free hands hefted the blond's legs up and wrapped them around his waist. The other responded by rubbing eagerly against him, and it was damn sexy. Not quite as sexy as the sounds Ed was making, though; he was already moaning and grunting, whining and whimpering. Now, these could just be to turn him on more so he wouldn't be able to keep up the games for long, or the blond had been aching for it since last night- possibly before.

And then teeth dug into his lip and tugged, fingers teasing his right nipple, and he didn't give a flying fuck why. Because Edward was here, pinned between him and a wall, slick and wet, and that was what mattered.

"You want it, Ed?"

A whine. A wriggle. A gasp.

"You want it bad?"

A jerky nod. A whimper. A plead.

Edward Elric... was pleading for something. Something from _him. _What kind of man would he be if he refused such a request?

One hand slid down along the curve of Edward's ass, tips of his middle and index fingers near his entrance. Another gasp, then his fingers were being pressed down against. A smirk worked its way onto his face. The blond never had been patient, had he?

"Come _ooooo~n_, Roy. That's not what I want and you know it." he whined, wriggling again so the fingers dug in. "I don't need preparing. I just want _you._"

"I don't want to hurt you, Ed." the general said truthfully, even though he really just wanted to go at it.

"You won't. Didn't I tell you Havoc only ever wanted to fuck?" he moaned, grinding down against the fingers that were just barely penetrating his entrance. He made an attempt at spreading his legs even wider, trying to get those teasing fingers to go deeper. Of course, fingers weren't enough, but they were part of who he _did _want, and it was the only part he was getting at the moment. "If you can get two fingers in me- scissored- with no problem, then forget about prepping anymore. Okay?"

"Fine." Roy agreed, though begrudgingly. He placed a hand on the wall to hold himself up, then moved the hand on Ed's rear so he could slip the first finger in all the way.

"Next." was the immediate response. No writhing, no having to relax, no adjusting. Just... next. So he quickly moved the other finger inside along with the other. "Scissor." the blond ordered, not even grimacing.

_What the hell? Did he and Havoc really have sex that often? He always seemed so oblivious... like he'd already ever done it. _the general thought in astonishment, pulling his fingers apart- both ways, just to be sure. No response. At least, not the negative one he'd been expecting. Instead, it was very much on the positive side, considering how Ed arched against his chest, ground his hips down against the fingers in a way that rubbed against Roy _just right_, and a loud whimper slipped off of his lips and toyed with his lover's arousal.

"Now?" There was a hint of begging to the one-word question. Again with the begging. No way he could deny _that._ So he nodded, sliding his fingers out, and brought that hand up to Ed's hip. Holding the wriggling body was an impossible feat; no matter what, the blond wouldn't stay still. He was forced to hold him as steady as he possibly could, and push in when there was a pause in the frantic movement.

Maybe not an entirely possible thing. The moment Roy was completely in him, Ed froze, shivered, and practically melted against the tile wall, heels digging into his lover's back_. _

"You like it?"

"Are we really going to do this again?" the younger man whined, rocking his hips.

"I was hoping we could."

"Just move before you kill me." He rocked again, and the other man's willpower failed. He thrust; Ed's head flew back against the tile, but he didn't even seem to care that the resounding _Crack! _meant he'd hit it too hard. His automail fingers pushed through dark hair, nails digging into pale skin on Roy's back. "Going too slow." he complained, panting.

"So demanding." But he sped up anyways, because Ed wasn't the only one who wanted it. He knew he hit that perfect little spot inside the smaller body when his partner practically screeched something unintelligible. He smirked, nosing the side of Ed's neck as his thrusts steadily increased, getting closer. Ed was panting and moaning and screaming above him, tossing his head.

"_OH GOD OOOOOOO~H RIGHT THERE! YES, ROOOOOOO~Y!" _His hips were bucking, grinding against him in a way that shouldn't work but did. He bit his lip, working hard to come up with a single thought that he knew was very important. "C-Come with m-me." he asked, lifting his head to stare intently at his partner, eyes glazed with lust.

"Wh-whatever y-you want." the general panted, leaning down so he could lick and tease the other's nipple. The blond squeaked, arched, and panted something that sounded rather like 'Cuuuu, cuuuu, cuuuu.' Roy got the idea, nodded his head against his lover's chest. Ed's inner walls tightened around him, and he suddenly fell absolutely silent. Seconds later, he released inside his partner, letting out a grunt in the crook where automail shoulder met flesh neck. They panted, both coming down from the high, before the older man pulled out and set his lover on his feet.

Which turned out to be a completely futile attempt, as the young alchemist proceeded to slide down the wall until he was sitting and simply… stare. And then he smiled. It was so content and relaxed that Roy hated to move him, but the water was turning cold. So he sighed exasperatedly, though there was a smile on his face.

"Let's get you out of here before you wind up drowning yourself." When the only reply he got was a small chuckle and a widened smile, he hauled his lover out of the tub, turning the water off and then drying them both off with a towel. "Lazy," the general commented when the other made no move to stand up. He rolled his eyes and heaved the naked alchemist up, looking with fake disapprovement at him.

"Take me to your bed." Edward finally mumbled, patting a strong, bare chest before laying his head on it.

"At least you didn't say 'Take me to your leader.'" But he carried the smaller man out of the door they'd forgotten to close earlier and down the hall.

"You already did." was the reply, and then Ed's flesh hand pointed down.

"Haha, you're so funny." Ungracefully, he dropped the other on the bed, then turned to leave again. A cool hand closed around his wrist and tugged him back so hard that he tripped and fell backwards onto the bed.

"Stay with me." It was a request he couldn't deny. Partly because of the automail hand still holding tightly to his arm.

"Fine, fine, fine. You are so demanding and needy." he mumbled, pulling the covers over them and snuggled close to the still-limp body in the bed.

"You love me."

"Mhm. Go to sleep."

There was silence for a few moments. Ed nuzzled his nose under Roy's chin, making a content sound.

"I have a question."

"What is it?"

"What the hell took you so long?"

* * *

><p><strong>Bahahaha! Personally, I love that last line. That's why I left it there. Anyways, that was the end of this story. I hope you enjoyed it. If you didn't, or if you had any problems with it... shove it up your ass 'cause I don't give a flying fuck. ='D<strong>

**Aren't I such a lovely person? xD You should leave me reviews and let me hear your thoughts on the story... and my personality. So... REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! Or I shall quit writing. Forever. ='D**

**Ciao! **

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao_  
><em>**


End file.
